starting my blog back up!

I need to get back to blogging! I miss having somewhere to go to record my life. SO today I begin again and hopefully I can get on here at least every few days to write!

another one?!?

NO not baby...my dog had another seizure less than 8 hours after the one this morning. This is insane poor guy. So we now have to put him on seizure meds. I guess I just have to keep reminding myself that this is just a dog thank heavens it isnt one of the kids. Of course if you looked at how my husband is handling it you would think he just lost his wife and kids! Boy I wish he loved me half as much as the dog! lol!!!

and it continues

So I was having a rough morning yesterday that just kept going. I went to the dr for 10 and got an antibiotic for my face, then straight to the store to pick it up. Of course this meant that I was missing the playdate that I had scheduled but oh well gotta get my face fixed. Jack was terrible in the store, he whined and pitched one fit after another. It took them 25 minutes to fill my rx. SO I shopped around, I got to the register and went to pull my cat food bag out from the bottom of the cart and the glue at the bottom of the bag let go... whoosh cat food everywhere and of course there were only 2 registers open both with long lines so all the people had to back up and no one was laughing. Then I go home and feed lunches and my preteen comes home in a horrible mood carrying on about how oppressive we are, he has no life blah blah blah blah...
We leave home at 4:45 to go to the school function at the girls elementary school and Annie poops through everything and being as you cant bring a double stroller in there because there are too many people I was holding her so I was a mess too. Hey at least no one made any rude comments about our family!!! After the million mile walk back to the car we changed her and headed home to make supper in our 30 million degree home(it was 92 here yikes). I made supper and all the kids were fighting at the table, they were hot and tired. SO I sent all to bed early at 7. Dh put the ac in the girls windows because they live in the upstairs of our cape so it was really hot up there. Then we stayed up watching all the season finales we had missed and went to bed at 11ish(late for me) only to be woken up at 2 to Jynx, our chocolate lab seizing again. So now I sit here with very little sleep a bit afraid of what today might bring... God please help me survive today!

what the heck?!?!?

So here I am going about life the last few days with a big smile God is on my side things will be okay...and for what its worth, I still believe that but I am beginning to wonder if this is a test to find my breaking point. My vacuum broke, which with 8 people, 2 dogs, 3 cats and 3 guinea pigs, I NEED a vacuum. The fur balls in my corners look like full sized human heads and I assure you all of my dc still have their heads attached. Then this morning I wake up with the whole left side of my jaw ridiculously swollen, I cant even smile. Apparently my tooth is infected and causing a cellulitis( I think but wont know until I go to the dr this am). I have stuff planned almost nonstop for the next 3 days, I don't have time for this. Nor do I want to be facing people with my monster face EEEEERRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH I am not strong so if this has anything to do with the saying God never gives you more than he trusts you can handle...enough all ready I am weak stop trusting me so much!!

Its a good day!!!

So I was coming on here today to get back to blogging and to vent about life...but a series of events this morning has lead me to a different place.

Things have been tough lately We are not making enough money, my mortgage went up $559 without notice when we already were hardly able to pay it. Eric and I are having a really hard time making our marriage work, he is in a place where he wants to party and be 21, I'm ready to be 30 and a grown up. He is terrible to our children swearing, yelling and on their asses for every little thing they do(even normal kid things). So I shut down and stopped talking to him and now we are fighting constantly and most nights he sleeps on the couch. My family is driving me batty. My little sister had a baby 6 weeks after me and EVERYONE compares her baby and mine. Her baby is bigger, her baby sleeps through the night, she bathes her baby everyday, she lets her baby cry it out, she pumps and lets people feed her baby bottles. I do things my way and Annie is perfect just the way she is. My mom is VERY VERY opinionated and my sister believes she is the baby whisperer so they don't listen to me at all and worse they try to push my mom's outdated beliefs on me. It is not fun to be around and we have family dinners every Sunday so I cant even avoid them to take a break. Well on Mothers day I got a break because we had a tradition of going out to dinner just my mom and my sisters and I but I have no money so I am a loser now but that is a whole other story. Life is just tough lately. I was at my breaking point this morning...I even said to Eric last night, maybe I need to move out and get my own place(after weeks of hearing how bad I am at parenting and managing money from Eric and my mom). Then I go online to chat with my friends since I have NO rl friends and I read a post that one of them wrote...

"I've learned through the years nothing happens that surprises God.

I may be lost and confused at times, but He always knows what

coming and where He's taking us and why... so I've

learned to let it just roll right off my shoulders and walk

by faith. And it's an incredible path"

now, for what its worth I am and always have been a firm believer in God and I know that sometimes he sends us messages via different outlets. I interpreted that as a message and all of a sudden I felt this enormous peace fill me. It was like he was sitting in front of me telling me it was all going to be okay. Then as if I had doubt still, a friend offered to send me money. Now I should point out that this offer was without strings attached or questions asked from someone that has never met me in person. And now I sit here no longer frustrated and worn down, I have Friends, good ones and most importantly, I have God on my side and I will be alright!!!!

Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th again. But so far nothing major going on here! Life with 6 babies is finally settling in and Annie is finally getting to a point where she doesn't scream 10 out of 24 hours in a day. Now I have to worry about her not gaining. She went for her 2 month check up yesterday and only gained 4 oz in a month yeah only 4 that is nothing. I don't want to stop nursing her so I need to try to make sure she nurses longer and more often. The pedi is sure it is because of her reflux so I am trying to work on all the remedies for that too, changing my diet, keeping her upright it is all a lot with 5 other children at home!

So here is my funny today, my 2 year old brought me a little 2 inch baby doll and told me it was his new baby then preceded to "feed" it. Yup you got it, he nursed his doll hehehehehehehehe lol. I called my husband at work to tell him and he was less than amused! My older daughters tried to tell him that Daddys don't make milk only mamas do but there was no stopping him, he wanted to feed his baby!! How cute.
Well the princess has awoken and I should try to feed her again.

It's March

It is March already, this year just began and its March!!! Have you ever stopped to think about how fast time is flying and that someday you wont be here anymore? As we spent the last 3 days getting our house in order with some repairs and fix up work I started thinking really what purpose do we serve? Unless we signed the constitution, invented the light bulb or cure cancer, we will just be forgotten. Our children will remember us and our grandchildren and after that we will just be that someone in an old photo that no one remembers. Now don't get me wrong, I am not looking to be famous I just want to have meant something. So that got me thinking, maybe I cant be known for centuries for some significant contribution but I can be remembered for a contribution in some one's life. I have decided that we need to start giving back. I dont have a lot of money but we could start doing more for the world. We could volunteer and make donations to worthy charities. We already give our old clothes, toys and household items to the orphanage or the local women's shelter but I am going to spend some time tomorrow calling around to find out if there is somewhere that we can volunteer. I am thinking maybe a retirement community for now after all, the kids are kinda little but maybe as they get older we can start going to shelters and food banks. I just need to know that my life served a purpose even if it doesn't make me go down in the history books!!!